Hello again my readers,
So far, 2013 has been one strange, spooky year. Tons of weird astrology and odd eclipses have resulted in huge life changes. I knew it was coming. I sensed it back in October, smelled it on the autumn air.
It started with weird dreams about water… oceans full of sharks… murky ponds hiding dead bodies… falling down the face of a waterfall.
Then the déjà vu started… three, four, five times a day.
I started meditating. Reading my tarot cards. Searching for answers in the falling leaves. Looking to the moon for guidance.
I consulted numerology and found out that, for me, 2013 is a year that corresponds to the number 1. A beginning year. A new cycle. I learned that astrologically, I was experiencing both a Saturn return and a Pluto transit. It was going to be a tumultuous New Year.
The clock struck midnight on Dec. 31st and things started to fall apart. Not in a sad or tragic way. I was expecting it, after all. I knew it was the right thing. But the right thing is rarely easy. I’d spent 2012 in a constant state of itchy discomfort, like a snake needing to shed her skin. Feeling wrong and not knowing why or how to fix it.
In January, the layers of my life began to fall away. A relationship I’d outgrown, old career aspirations, the home I lived in for three years… There were many sleepless nights and bargains struck with the Universe. I prayed to every deity in every pantheon. I lit candles. I charged citrine crystals in the moonlight. I begged for an easy transition or a miraculous solution but the Universe was unmoved.
As of this exact moment, I’m basically a ghost, wandering around in a weird No Man’s Land of time and space. It’s exciting and terrifying, as freedom always is. I feel like the Universe is in charge. I can try to plead my case. Curse the sky. Sob on the shower floor. Scream into my pillow. But the Universe will not be moved. It’s doing its thing. A Spring Cleaning of cosmic proportions.
Now, I’m waiting. Everything’s been cleared away. Will the Universe rush to fill it? With what? With whom? Or will I just float around in Ghost Town for awhile longer? These are exciting times. I’m anxious but aware. I’m waiting for a sign. Preparing for a journey. And so many other cliches.
I’ve been waiting for the Ten of Swords for months now. The card of Rock Bottom. The “you have nothing left to lose” card.
It finally appeared.
I was relieved to get the message. The old cycle has ended. A new one is on the horizon, blossoming with the magnolia trees down the street.